Full of Shit.

Jun's.

It's my life.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm where I'm supposed to be, or if I'm who I'm supposed to be... I wonder what this life has in store for me.

Sometimes I feel sure of what I want and where I'm to go, Other I feel lost and try not to let it show.

But sometimes at night I lay and stare, and hope for answers through answered prayers.

Do I go left or should I choose right, the roads are as dark as a moonless night.

I hesitate not because I am scared, and not even because I am unprepared.

To make the wrong choice would be hardest to bare, or is that God's intensions...a double dare.

So then we must wonder is there a right and wrong path, or simply 2 different ways for us to do the math.

However we add it, it equals the same, but the method used to get there is what makes the game.

So although I feel lost from time to time, I take great comfort in the fact that the choice is all mine.

Whichever choice we make, A or B, the one we choose is meant to be.

So instead of trying to force life to fit, just let life happen and enjoy it.

It's going to work at its own pace, life is a journey not a race.

So sit back and enjoy this precious gift, and when the gears need changed don't hesitate to shift

Saturday, January 14, 2006
Flip and FLY Away

My lips were swollen. She hitted me and I bled.On that moment, I asked myself is that what she do to someone who loved her so much? She walked off leaving me alone in the car crying. On the moment, I called LM. I dont know why but as soon as i hear her voice, I hung up. Sorry for making all of you worried for me.
Minutes later she came back, she apologized and I realise i dont have the strength to blame her cos she told me she din mean it. I trusted her but it just hurts so much to think that she could just do that to me.
Just as I was still recovering from my wounds both physically n mentally, she called me today. She told me she wouldnt love me anymore, not now and never will. She told me is impossible between us already cos she dont feel xin fu at all. She told me she dont have any feelings for me at all. But why she still buy stuffs for me whn she got her pay? why she still cares so much abt me? why she says she still miss me? why did she make me think that she still loves me? SO many questions in my mind but I guess i will never get any answers. I should really let go this time. Is just not mine anymore. I appreciate that she tells me the truth but my heart cant really breathe now. I dont want to feel like this.
I am sorry to all my frens for making u guys worry so much about me. I know you guys care alot abt me.
LM told me she was hurted whn she see her fren being hurted this way. IM sorry. I din mean to mk u guys feel that way for me. I should have heeded ur advice. I should have left long ago and nvr meet her anymore.
Jacob told me she will try to accompany me as much as she could to occupy my time. Thanks for trying to console me when u urself is going thru the same shit as me too.
Thanks JH for msgg me. I know you wanna come find me ydae at my hse. Thanks for being there.I know u care.
AGL, though u dont know me as long as they do, but thanks for ur concern. Thanks for going down to marina together with jacob to look for me. Dont worry for me. Im fine.
From this incident, I came to realise alot of things. Though I have lost hopes in her that she will still return to me, I have gained alot of things. I came to realise who are the people who alwaz stand by me. WHo are the people who really care for me!
*It should'nt be me that you are hurting when I treated you like my little princess*

i'm a FrEaK.
1/14/2006 06:07:00 PM.